OSC’s The eleven rules of the earth

LaVeyan Satanism is a religious philosophy founded in 1966 by Anton LaVey, codified in “The Satanic Bible” and overseen by the Church of Satan. Its core philosophy is based concepts of individualism, egoism, epicureanism, self-deification and self-preservation, and propagates a worldview of natural law, materialism, Lex Talionis, and mankind as animals in an amoral universe. Adherents to the philosophy have described Satanism as a non-spiritual religion of the flesh, or “…the world’s first carnal religion”.

Despite popular ideas the supposed “church of Satan” insist they don’t actually believe in a literal fallen angel, rather they describe the Devil as a concept, the idea of a shameless being who indulged without internal conflict in all that they desired, and in that, even if he’s not real, they have found an example they want to follow after: “He represents pride, liberty, and individualism—qualities often defined as Evil by those who worship external deities, who feel there is a war between their minds and emotions.”

So having touched briefly upon what a popular branch of satanism believes (amoral universe included), Anton LaVey, founder and main authority of the church, went about committing to paper eleven rules which he considered worthy of commemorating. The same became known as the eleven Satanic rules of earth.

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

9. Do not harm little children.

10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

Satanists certainly enjoy defying common misconceptions about their kind being oftentimes involved in abusing children or sacrificing animals, moreover, their eleven rules of the earth could appear so attractive and commonsensical (at least at first glance). Though how can a worldview which proposes an amoral universe also propose a value system or impose duty upon humankind, according to the true believers they don’t, rather their way of life (they imagine) is a means to achieve goals, grasp pleasures and avenge oneself in the face of various obstacles.

Having already taken into account the sheer subjectivity of the universe you may find the church of Satan a right fit for your needs, or you could very well find satisfaction in the Silva Method first proposed by José Silva, a form of meditation in which the practitioner is told to “invite a friend” into their mind. Transcendental meditation, Buddhism, lucid dreaming, they’re all equally valid in that they’re all subjective methods to prompt our psychology in different ways.

By many a qualification believers in the church imagine they can protect themselves against classical forms of criticism, they fail on this front however. In addition, even by their own modest goal of holding to an alternative viewpoint by which people can achieve various goals they’re abject failures. They’re failures in that their goal (to succeed and achieve within the confines of law) can always be better fulfilled by an alternative worldview! TM, Buddhism, not only are these helpful in that they’re subjective means to enliven our minds and interest others, they’re also less likely to evoke an angry or negative response in our peers. Why would any supposedly rational person call themselves a Satanist if their stated goal is the pursuit of pleasure and worldly fulfillment in the states (where Satanism is most popular), instead only attention seekers, rebels without a clue and chronic failures would be attracted to a view which instead of gaining them all that they desired only serves to put a stigma upon their head.

The atheistic religion of Satanism appears then to be well and truly redundant in terms of what it can offer the lives of people, nevertheless, their eleven rules of the earth were rather interesting in that they’re commonly held viewpoints in our secular culture. For example, how often are Christians mocked for sharing their beliefs in public, all the while the secularized person who does the mocking is seemingly oblivious to the fact that they too are expressing their ideas publicly when they stop religious points of view from being expressed. It’s common that such people conveniently exempt their own view points from the standard they so readily use against others they find, only their view is “fair” or “the default” position, or their view which says others shouldn’t share their views isn’t in fact a view at all. So in light of the popular appeal of these atheistic tactics, and for the sheer surprise that much of the UK (where I’m writing from) are Satanists in their ideas and behavior, I’m going to explain why these eleven rules are in fact bogus, in addition to them being totally and utterly useless in both providing human happiness and making sense of our grand universe.

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

So if I happen upon a homeless woman or man, I shouldn’t give them my opinion that a homeless shelter is the best place for them. Nor should I offer directions to the nearest shelter just a short walk down the road. Or if I should see someone breaking rule number nine of the satanic laws (do not harm children) I can’t give this person my unsolicited advice that harming children is wrong, not unless the abuser specifically asks for my opinion on child abuse. How about if I find a man abusing children in his “lair” (rule number three), apparently rather than give my unsolicited advice or opinion that child abuse is wrong, I ought to hide my outrage and revulsion at their behavior and show them the proper respect. These sorts of rule don’t generally come from the mind of law abiding, reasonable people, they’re instead cooked up by creeps and geeks who don’t want anyone interfering with their weird clubhouse. Sadly their selfish wants to not be preached at or told well reasoned advice is just a trick to preserve their already ridiculous ideas.

2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

Anton LaVey appears to have had a trouble, that being that others insisted on sharing their troubles with him, which he clearly found problematic. LaVey however didn’t believe in advising people to stop it (rule number one), so the sultan of satanic silliness couldn’t share his troubles with the masses about them troubling him with their inconsequential troubles. Though to ensure they couldn’t further bother his unholy holiness Anton LaVey made a masterful plan, he’d write a book, nay, several books, all of which would contain his unsolicited opinion advising an uncaring populous on the various things he found troublesome in his life.

3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

If a person was so gifted as to foreknow whether or not they would offend their future host, I’m sure they would indeed avoid their dinner party invitation. For example, stabbing a set of chopsticks into my half eaten meal would offend people in certain homes, whereas in others the act may go unnoticed, realizing whether or not we’re in such a home is really a matter of intuition and being thoroughly socialized. Nonetheless, LaVey’s third rule appears arbitrary, childish and without proper thought to it (as do they all).

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

Someone being a mere annoyance to me in my satanic abode is apparently deserving of cruel and merciless treatment, although faithful believers in the church of Satan are quick to point out such merciless cruelty ought to be non-physical. They honestly think appealing to non-physical aggression is enough to redeem their ridiculous viewpoints. How about if I as a satanist mercilessly mock my guest to tears for daring to be an irritant, or use my razor sharp wit to “cruelly” insult a person based upon their race, gender, sexuality or religion? Civilized people don’t behave like this, they’re not attracted to cruel mockery of others in their home, rather they simply ask an overly annoying house guest to leave.

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

So nobody should proposition another person sexually unless the other party first gives their “mating signal”, but is not the mating signal itself a sexual advancement, it’s the “mating” signal after all. Meaning a man and woman, at least if they’re faithful satanists, are forever doomed to a purely platonic relationship because neither are allowed to initiate romantic involvement. Yet again Anton LaVey’s literary flair appears to have hopelessly confused what could have been a plain rule, since it could plainly have read don’t go around raping people. Now all the satanist has to do is tell the rapist why he ought to abandon his favorite pastime in favor of an arbitrary, baseless set of commands in an amoral universe invented by some guy he’s probably never heard of, although doing that is near impossible due to rules 1 and 2.

6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

Surely I wouldn’t be taking “that which does not belong” to me at all if the other person is gifting it to me. Or perhaps the writer meant to say I should try eavesdropping on a rich man’s conversation in which he complains about having too much property, only then should I “steal” his luxury car to relieve him of the burden of filling her up everyday. In short Anton appears to have been writing “Thou shalt not steal”, still for their desire to show literary flair they clearly didn’t possess it’s led to their rule sounding redundant.

7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

Lest readers are wrong footed by use of the word “magic” in the above, let’s clarify.

Much of LaVey’s ideas on magic and ritual are outlined in The Satanic Bible. In The Book of Belial magic is defined as “The change in situations or events in accordance with one’s will, which would, using normally accepted methods, be unchangeable.” (meaning satanic practices have a sort of placebo effect which can be used to a person’s advantage). LaVey explains that some of the rituals are simply applied psychology or science, but that some contain parts with no scientific basis. The Satanic Rituals, published by LaVey in 1972, outlines the rituals more precisely.

In their Q&A explanation of demons, possession and the supernatural the church of Satan’s official website reads:

Satanists do not believe in demons or other supernatural beings, nor do we believe in spells. Seek help from local mental health professionals to assist you to get over these delusions.

So we know what magic isn’t according to the Satanic camp, moreover they denounce the supernatural, visions, possession and all things immaterial including the soul, although that isn’t entirely helpful. Perfecting our understanding of what exactly Satanists think magic is there’s an explanation further:

LaVey explains that, in order to control a person, one must first attract his or her attention. He gives three qualities that can be employed for this purpose: sex appeal, sentiment (cuteness or innocence), and wonder. He also advocates the use of odor (Thus making a particularly attractive escort a high level magic user!)

In the “Book of Belial”, he discusses three types of rituals: those for sex, compassion, and destruction. Sex rituals work to entice another person; compassion rituals work to improve health, intelligence, success, and so on; destruction rituals work to destroy another person. LaVey advocates finding others with whom to practice Satanic rituals in order to reaffirm one’s faith and avoid antisocial behavior. He particularly advocates group participation for destruction rituals, as compassion and sex rituals are more private in nature.

Demystifying the thoroughly murky language rule 7 should read like so:

7. Acknowledge the power of positive thinking, your own seductive prowess and empty ritual if you have employed any of them successfully to obtain your desires.

Having defined our use of the word magic however shows that the end threat doesn’t follow.

If you deny the power of positive thinking, sexual allure and empty ritual after having called upon them with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

LaVey’s absurd use of words like lair, magic and even employing the name Satan, despite believing in neither Satan nor magic, goes to show they were simply window dressing used to attract disenfranchised and habitually confused people into his anti-Christian or counter cultural clubhouse.

8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

LaVey appears to have imagined every person or group belonging to a bubble universe, and in their private bubble nobody is subject to anybody else’s behavior. But we as a race need not subject ourselves to a great many things which we can justifiably complain about, honor killings, FGM, abortion, being a fully grown Christian man I’m subject to none of these violent practices, nevertheless, I complain (and justifiably so) that they’re morally evil behaviors. Similarly practices like lotus foot binding were done away with precisely because Christians who weren’t subject to Chinese culture spoke out against the behavior.

Foot binding (also known as “lotus feet”) was the custom of applying painfully tight binding to the feet of young girls to prevent further growth. The practice possibly originated among upper-class court dancers during the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms period in Imperial China (10th or 11th century), then became popular during the Song dynasty and eventually spread to all social classes.

The practice of foot binding became popular during the Song dynasty, and the earliest known writings and references to footbinding appeared in the late eleventh century. In the twelfth century, Zhang Bangji considered that a bound foot should be arched-shape and small. A thirteenth-century writer, Che Ruoshui, complained that “little children not yet four or five years old, who have done nothing wrong, nevertheless are made to suffer unlimited pain to bind [their feet] small. I do not know what use this is“.

Opposition to foot binding had been raised by some Chinese writers in the 18th century. During the Taiping Rebellion, many of the rebel leaders were of Hakka background where their women did not bind their feet, and foot binding was outlawed. The rebellion however failed, and Christian missionaries, who had provided education for girls and actively discouraged what they considered a barbaric practice, then played a part in changing elite opinion on footbinding through education, pamphleteering, and lobbying of the Qing court.

In 1875, 60-70 Christian women in Xiamen attended a meeting presided over by a missionary John MacGowan formed the Natural Foot (“tianzu”, literally Heavenly Foot) Society. It was then championed by the Woman’s Christian Temperance Movement founded in 1883 and advocated by missionaries including Timothy Richard, who thought that Christianity could promote equality between the sexes.

Don’t tell me what to do (rule 1) and Don’t complain about things you aren’t subject is exactly the kind of teenage angst that has no place in an adult mind. Atheists and naturalists, the sort of people satanism appeals to, weren’t the ones who helped free Chinese women from the pain lotus foot binding, nor had they anything to do with the abolition of slavery here in the UK (that was the Christian William Wilberforce.) Time and time again ideas like satanism prove themselves totally incapable (pathetic even) at satisfying humanity’s collective desire for the good.

9. Do not harm little children.

Unless they’re annoying me in my lair I imagine. Rule number 9 is also missing the painfully obvious fact that the eleven rules of the earth themselves would do extreme damage to the once healthy mind of a child.

10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

Without being extremely loose with the above, rule 10 would forbid humanity from: Disposing of a fox in order to protect a farmer’s chickens. Culling diseased animals. Putting down an injured or poorly creature etc etc.

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

Again figuratively speaking satanists are meant to “destroy” their antagonist, but rather than address another lackluster rule I’m choosing instead to understand satanism at its rotten rot.

The basic commonality in all the branches of Satanism is a promotion of self. All forms of Satanism claim that life exists to consume and that selfishness is a virtue. Some Satanists hold that the only existence they will ever know is here on Earth. Thus, devil worshippers live for the moment, and their creed is gluttony and debauchery.

Satanism pledges its allegiance to Satan, even while some in the Church of Satan believe that no God or devil exists. Most in the Church of Satan also believe that there is no redeemer for them or anyone else. Each person is fully responsible for the path of his own life.

Satanism therefore doesn’t reach far beyond the level of hedonism, it’s hedonism in a gaudy suit. The church of Satan’s founder, Anton LaVey, hadn’t the faintest idea of how matters of morality or how moral objectivity operated, for which they believed they could both dismiss statements of ethical truth while at the same time writing lengthy material on how certain people (or at the very least himself) ought to behave. An example of the above comes in the form of their dialogue on light and dark magic.

White magic is supposedly utilized only for good or unselfish purposes, and black magic, we are told, is used only for selfish or “evil” reasons. Satanism draws no such dividing line. Magic is magic, be it used to help or hinder. The Satanist, being the magician, should have the ability to decide what is just, and then apply the powers of magic to attain his goals.

So to begin a round up, what is magic according to the church of satanism? Sex appeal, intentions, the change in situations or events in accordance with one’s will, meaning behavior and how a person decides to operate. So magic (AKA behavior) is neither good nor evil, it’s simply magic, meaning a man in his sixties who lures an underage boy into his bed by sexual charisma or candy isn’t inherently doing anything evil, he’s not using black magic as satanism makes no distinctions between light and dark. Now directly from the satanist homepage:

Since the Satanist understands that all Gods are fiction, instead of bending a knee in worship to—or seeking friendship or unity with—such mythical entities, he places himself at the center of his own subjective universe as his own highest value. We Satanists are thus our own “Gods,” and as beneficent “deities” we can offer love to those who deserve it and deliver our wrath (within reasonable limits) upon those who seek to cause us—or that which we cherish—harm.

Satanists are themselves a fit standard in their “subjective universe” to judge good and bad, or they being god in their own right can just as easily ignore and destroy the idea of both, as the founder of satanism himself decided to do. Another example on their main Q&A page would be: “all morals and values are subjective human constructions.” This however would include satanism! So why do they add (within reasonable limits)” to their website, whose limits are reasonable when all moral limitations are a matter of taste? Morally speaking neither right nor wrong answers are an objective feature of the universe according to satanism, which is the final nail in the eleven rules of the earth, they are worthless according to both my and the Satanist’s standards. Could another more gifted teacher outdo the eleven rules of the earth without need for pomp and pageantry, if so surely they could show humanity a better teaching in a single command.

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” “The most important one,”answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ Mark 12:28-30

If you love God, then stop hurting Him. And if we do truly want God in our lives our conduct will reflect that desire. The message was as simple as that and far more powerful than anything from the world of the occult or atheism, and because the God of Christians is love to love God and do as He commands isn’t arbitrary or of some good to Him, rather to love God is a benefit to us! God didn’t make people because He was lonely, He made us because He wanted you and I to have the joy of being His children. This is the God people find when reading 1 Corinthians:


Satanism wasn’t built on love, rather confusion and a heart fit for judging others planted a sinister seed in the mind of its founder, but instead of being content with his own debauched behavior Anton LaVey wanted to profit and inflict his suspect viewpoints upon others, undoubtedly for money and the use of others for sex. Moreover, by the time his days were up LaVey’s estranged daughter Zeena LaVey Schreck and her husband Nikolas Shreck felt compelled to release a fact sheet debunking much of their father’s sad fantasies, he had invented many. Ideas like he had had an erotic encounter with Marilyn Monroe or that he had been a photographer working for the San Francisco Police Department, these were all part of an act (a failed act) to impress and obscure the truth of his life in mystery, whereas the reality of the man was no thunder and snake’s heads, it was just sad and lonely. So for the sake of wrapping up the eleven rules of the earth, they’re ideas which find themselves being used by the mainstream in a very general way to control people (Satanists included), they’re weak and confused ideas which have shown no serious advancement in many decades. Satanism itself however can only be seen as an outdated mess which nobody in their right mind would want to embrace, whereas the truth of Jesus’ teachings remains as powerful today as it were 2000 years ago.

― T. C. M

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